Monday, October 28, 2013

Crafter Mama: Salena Adams (MamaTalk: Creativity)



A collage of some of Salena's crafty projects.

After a week's hiatus, we're back again with more MamaTalk: Creativity.  Today I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Salena Adams.  I met Salena through my local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group one year.  She is a talented seamstress and an encouraging friend with a heart for the home.  I hope you enjoy her thoughts.  And check out some of her beautiful projects above!

What are your primary outlets for creativity?  Tell us a little about your background and how you developed these creative skills. 
I never really considered myself all that creative before I had kids.  I did some scrap-booking and a tiny bit of sewing, but if you asked for a creative person I certainly wouldn’t have been the one to raise my hand.  I think things changed after I had kids.  I needed an outlet other than taking care of family.  I got more into crafting for myself always with a practical bent to it.  I never liked just making “something pretty.”  I wanted it to be functional too.  One January, I wrote a list of goals (not resolutions, per se) for the year.  Top of the list was getting comfortable with my sewing machine.  I learned a lot in that year and have really come to enjoy the process of sewing.  I think I like figuring out the project as much or more than the actual sewing. I’m not one to use or follow patterns exactly, much like my cooking, but I think I find freedom in that from my normally perfectionist nature.

Also I am a children’s leader at Bible Study Fellowship (BSF).  This allows me to use my creativity to customize activities to go along with our lessons.  BSF has an excellent framework for teaching while allowing flexibility in the specifics.  It’s been fun to tailor my free play, large muscle and rhythm activities to run the thread of the lesson all through the morning.  Also there is the inherent need to creatively keep the attention of a class of twenty four-year-olds.

Do you think creativity is important as a mom? Why or why not? 
I think creativity for me as a mom is important.  Having something beyond the basics of keeping my family fed and cared for helps me be a better mom. 

What is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively?
Right now. I have a weekly outlet for my creativity at BSF.  

How did time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom? 
Like I said before, I wasn’t that creative before I had kids so I think it stayed about the same. My kids are older now which makes it easier to be creative with them around.

Do you ever feel guilty about making time for creativity?  How do you cope with that? 
I don’t feel guilty about taking time for myself.  I generally do big projects when the kids are asleep or otherwise occupied.  If I have some creative time I am less stressed, more balanced and a much more fun mom to be around.  It’s a win win for everyone.

Have you ever felt pressured to express creativity in exactly the same way as some other mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a blog)?  In what way?  Have you found any ways to get past these pressures?  How? 
There are lots of cool things on Pinterest, but sometimes I just have to not look at it at all. If I’m looking for something specific it can be helpful but not just for browsing.   I can’t try and live like someone else.  I think evaluating if a project is really “me” or not takes a lot of the stress out of it. It also makes me think of this quote:

“There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”
― Jill Churchill

 Everyone has their strengths and I think you need to play to your own.
  
Have you found any ways to use your creative skills with your kids?
We always make cards for relatives for birthdays, holidays, etc.  Also we make most of our gifts.  So, depending on the gifts, they may make most of it or just help me pick out materials.

Tell us what you love about the unique ways you express creativity. 
I love that what I do (sewing, crafting, etc.) can be done at home with my family.  I don’t have to leave the house to do something creative.  That allows me to do little projects, or parts of projects, without disrupting the flow of our day.  And now that the kids are getting older and more able to participate it makes it even more fun. I also love being able to make gifts for people.  Not only is it generally economical, it’s fun to be able personalize each item.

What advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids, she has “lost herself”?
I think she would have to figure out what is going to refresh her.  It may be carving out some time to do that favorite thing she did before kids. But on the other hand it may be doing something completely different that she can incorporate into her life with kids.  And it may very well be a balance of the two.

Salena Adams lives in Kalispell, MT with her husband Dave and their two children.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Little Locals' Owner, Jessica Eliason (MamaTalk: Creativity)

I've gotten to know Jessica Eliason through her amazing shop in downtown Kalispell, Little Locals.  I wrote about buying my cloth diapers there previously when it was called Blooming Bellies.  Jessica is that rarest of business owners who goes completely out of her way to help people find answers to their questions.  I mean, seriously, when I was battling the case of the stinky ammonia diapers, she was on top of it with me, bending over backwards to help me figure it out.  She is an amazing source of information but she is also an incredibly kind and caring lady with a great capacity for creativity.  Her shop is full of beautiful apparel for kids, creative (and safe) toys, feeding gear, diapering gear, and everything else that you need for the modern kid and modern mom.  It's an awesome place to shop for yourself or to buy a baby shower gift!  The store is set up beautifully and Jessica's talent is obvious.  I hope she keeps on thriving and I hope that after you read her thoughts, you head on over and visit her store!

What are your primary outlets for creativity?  Tell us a little about your background and how you developed these creative skills.
Pre-children, my outlets were cooking, crafting, sewing, and writing.  And probably a lot of other "outlets" I funneled creativity into that don't really have a solid label.  After having one child, I did pretty well keeping most of those outlets alive and well.  During my second pregnancy, nausea subsided and creativity kicked in in full force.  I opened a maternity and children's boutique in a few weeks, fueled by my mid-pregnancy energy surge and a general excitement about creating a space where I could earn an income, have my children with me, and be creative.  It was months after giving birth (to the shop, and to my second daughter) when I realized that my dusty old fashion design degree was what made it possible to just whip up a boutique.  But once the "creating" became overshadowed by the everyday obligations of being a business owner, it became a real challenge to find opportunities (and TIME) to keep those juices flowing.  It comes in spurts now, and I am currently in a phase of reminding myself how important it is to KEEP BEING CREATIVE, for me. It's part of my life force, and I become a cranky mama when I can't find the space for that part of my being!

Do you think creativity is important as a mom?  Why or why not? 
Wow. Loaded question. Creativity is important as a mom because you certainly need to be creative to get through parenting alive and well!  But, finding time to be creative as a mom can be challenging depending on your organization skills (mine need polishing!) and how you tackle that creative urge.  You can craft with your kids, you can bake beautiful birthday cakes each year...but if your creative urge is to lock yourself in your craft room and sew, you can end up having to bottle that urge. So, yes, it's very important to be creative if you have an inner urge to do so, because it's what makes some of us feel whole and complete.  Finding time to be whole and complete as a mom is probably another blog post though!!

What is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively?
 I would have to go back to the shop again, citing that time of my life as the MOST CREATIVE and FULFILLED I've been in a very long time. I was building a life inside me, building a family, and building a space in my community inspired by my own upbringing and love for textiles and natural child rearing.

I was building a life inside me, building a family, and building a space in my community inspired by my own upbringing and love for textiles and natural child rearing.

How did time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom?
As the children increased, the energy decreased and the time for creativity seemed to dwindle. I became cranky! I found that it's all part of finding my center.  If creativity is important to me--is part of the definition of me--then I guess I better become more organized, more CREATIVE in finding the time to exercise that creativity.

Do you ever feel guilty about making time for creativity?  How do you cope with that?
I do not hold guilt over this, no.  I have frustrations, when the time feels nearly impossible to find, but guilt doesn't come into play for me.  My husband loves to ski, to bike.  Now that we are a family of four with a house, two jobs (one being a business I own and run), and a home-schooled child, we have to work a lot harder to find time to do those things that made us who we were before marriage, before kids.  So we might get frustrated and agitated, but I never push guilt on him when he needs to take off and go ski.  And - when I have the energy! -I lock myself in my sewing room, completely guilt free.

Have you ever felt pressured to express creativity in exactly the same way as some other mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a blog)?  In what way?  Have you found any ways to get past these pressures?  How?
Probably not, because art and expression have been a part of my life since day one.  I always feel like I am in good company when I meet other moms who have a flair for creating things--whether it's clay or fabric or cake!  Art has always been something that comes from inside for me. I can't make my insides match another mom's insides and that really isn't the point, is it?  Art is unique by nature.  Pinterest is great eye candy, but, truthfully, taking any more than an inspiration away from it can make you feel like a failure--and that really nixes creativity!

Have you found any ways to use your creative skills with your kids?
Truth telling time.  I really like to be independent in my creativity, so for me it's never expressed itself as sitting down with my girls for craft hour.  Eden is still too young, but is very happy with paper and crayons. In fact, she is very creative herself with story telling, drawings, facial expressions!  Clarise has taken to crafting on her own. She loves to cut fabrics and sew tooth fairy pillows, doll capes, you name it.  Any new type of crafting she can imagine, she tries her hand at.  I love that my own creative urges are separate from hers. Even when she would like to be a part of what I'm doing,  it's a separate activity that she continues in her own time as well.

Tell us what you love about the unique ways you express creativity.  
 Well that's something I've never really thought about - with not having enough time to be creative these days!  But I guess I would express how being creative has transformed as I've transformed, with age and experience and wisdom.  I am so very thankful that I was given the gift of creativity and that I have the ability to find a variety of ways to express myself creatively when the urge hits.  So even when I can't get into the sewing room, I can sit down with a pencil and paper or I can tear a display down at the shop and start fresh.  Some days, it might be something as lousy as a Facebook post that leaves me feeling expressed, and some days that has to be enough

What advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids, she has “lost herself”? 
Rant and rave about not having enough time for yourself until your husband thinks you're crazy and hormonal. Fear and survival mode will kick in for him and he'll offer to take the kids whenever you need so you can make time for you!  Kidding.  Hopefully, it doesn't have to go that route.  Usually when it does, it's because we've ignored ourselves for too long.  And really, that is no one's fault but our own.

I think it's important to remember that finding "me time" is something we have to pro-actively DO.  Carve time out: go to the gym and think, go to yoga, go to the library WITHOUT your kids (I know, who does THAT?!).  Go somewhere where you can be alone in your thoughts, whether that is your Church, your closest coffee shop, or a hiking trail.  Remember what you used to love and try new things.  Make yourself a priority and re-connect with you.  Ask your friends what they do, because some of us don't like to go it alone. Putting our heads together can bring really great ideas to the forefront.  And once you remember what it was that made you YOU or find something new that strikes a nerve, put it on the calendar.  And when it doesn't work out, LET IT GO.  And try again.

 When it doesn't work out, LET IT GO.  And try again.

Jessica says: I'm a mom and many other things. I own a downtown shop in Kalispell, MT (Little Locals) where I come to work as many days a week as I can, often late, with two kids in tow and hopefully enough snacks to make it through the day.  My husband has to help us get out the door sometimes, and sometimes he's already gone himself.  We have great dreams and are currently making the best of what we have. 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Musical Mama: Emily Rice (MamaTalk: Creativity)

Emily Rice and I met one summer when we were both working as counselors at Riverside Bible Camp in Story City, IA (also known as one of the best summers of my life).  We have continued our friendship through the years as we both got married, moved around, and had kids.  Some days, I think we connected on Facebook around big ideas just to keep our minds active and to continue to have grown-up conversations.  Emily is a gifted musician and one of the smartest people I know.  She is also a strong Christian and no matter what the topic, she manages to bring insight and depth to conversation.  I hope you enjoy her insights as we continue

What are your primary outlets for creativity?  Tell us a little about your background and how you developed these creative skills.
It seems like my primary outlets for creativity are constantly changing. I am a pianist and music has been the longest and most consistent outlet for creativity and also the one in which I am most accomplished. It's definitely the outlet that I am most emotionally invested in. In consulting, I am paid to problem-solve creatively in specific situations, to think creatively and consider multiple perspectives when forming plans and strategies, and to take a basic framework of best practices and use it to mold processes, procedures, and documents that are appropriate for a particular business. This is the outlet that I find most energizing. I also love to cook and I've found that eating new foods while savoring the flavor can be a fulfilling creative experience. Mostly, I love to learn and develop new skills to the point that I can make those skills my own, and even teach them to another person. I could say that the process of skill development is another outlet for creativity and I exhibit this in different ways at different times.

Do you think creativity is important as a mom?  Why or why not?
Absolutely! I think an essential part of creativity is the ability to withhold judgement on what something currently is, and instead look to what that thing is becoming. It's what allows me to get through the hours of repetitive practice that lead to muscle memory so that I can focus on the more artistic aspects of preparing a piece of music, or to trust that the lumpy mess that exists in the pan right after I pour broth into a roux will eventually become a lovely gravy. It's also what allows me to see some of the more frustrating aspects of my kids' behaviors as opportunities to shape our relationship and their characters. Some days, we are right in that lumpy mess stage, and if I hadn't had the experience of seeing something messy through to fruition, I might be concerned that the selfish, opinionated, short-tempered person who is screaming random demands at the top of her lungs would never become a responsible, caring member of society. But I know that sometimes the mess is part of the process, so I'm able to see that she's trying to learn to express her opinions and her emotions appropriately, but gets overwhelmed. It's frustrating to need to have enough perspective for both of us, but creativity definitely helps with that, too. I think most of my perspective comes from creative endeavors; the process of creating and becoming and trying things out is probably the most concrete experience I have of God's grace, and the ability to recognize that something isn't what it's meant to be, while recognizing it's value and ability to become something more than it's current state, is really the core of my understanding of sanctification. When it comes down to it, my relationship with God and understanding of His character is the single most important thing that impacts my parenting, and creativity is the biggest facilitator of that for me. It's what allows me to integrate all the knowledge I gain from Bible Study into something that is more real than words.

I know that sometimes the mess is part of the process.

What is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively?
College was an amazing time for me. I was able to be involved in a lot of different types of music, was in a leadership development program that allowed me to mentor other leaders on campus, was in a lot of collaborative teams, had time for knitting and crafting with friends of mine, and had opportunities to try new things and hear new ideas constantly. It was also the time when I was most challenged to integrate the lessons I was learning in a variety of fields into something comprehensive. I would learn things that seemed to contradict one another, and I felt compelled to find a way to fit them together. It shaped my view of problem-solving immensely, and it seemed like the whole world of ideas opened up and became a place to explore and move and create. At some point, contradiction stopped seeming like a problem to me and started to seem like an opportunity to better understand God's view of the world.

At some point, contradiction stopped seeming like a problem to me and started to seem like an opportunity to better understand God's view of the world.

How did time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom?
With my oldest daughter, I had a C-section, which made it impossible for me to play piano at all for several weeks, and I couldn't play anything above an elementary level for about 6 months. Then I got pregnant again when she was less than a year old, so by the time my 2nd daughter was born, my core strength was all but gone. 18 months after her birth, I have rebuilt a lot of my strength (due in large part to working with a personal trainer for several months). I can now practice for a substantive period of time and am rebuilding my technique. I really feel like physically I am starting from the ground up, even though I have a very advanced knowledge of what I'm doing and have had muscle memory of the pieces I'm practicing. It's more frustrating than fulfilling at this point, but I have times when I get into the flow of practice and feel like I'm making progress.
I changed my whole work schedule once my oldest was born and spent a lot more time alone with her, so it seemed like I had both more and less time, but never time and energy at the same time. That's when I really started exploring using cooking as an outlet for creativity: I needed to do it anyway and had carved out time for it. I began knitting after the baby was asleep; I could just veg in front of the TV and still feel that I was accomplishing something. I guess I ended up being creative about ways to express my creativity.

Once I started working again, I found that I was really taxing my energy for creativity. I think that creating your own job from scratch requires a lot of energy in general, but even more so when you have "mommy brain." Creative thought took so much longer after I had kids, and I struggled a lot with blaming myself for not being as sharp as I was before. I'm getting quicker again now that both kids sleep consistently through the night, but it has been a long road. I think the real irony of having energy for creativity is that you don't have any until you get into the flow of being creative, and creating space for that flow saps your energy. You have to be willing to be at a deficit for a while, knowing that the pay-off will be greater.

I think the real irony of having energy for creativity is that you don't have any until you get into the flow of being creative, and creating space for that flow saps your energy. You have to be willing to be at a deficit for a while, knowing that the pay-off will be greater.

Do you ever feel guilty about making time for creativity?  How do you cope with that?
I feel less guilty as my children get older and more independent in their own creative pursuits. I used to feel like I had to limit my creative time to when the kids were asleep and be available for them at all times. Now, I recognize the value of them having independent time. They need time for me to be really present with them and to interact with them, but they also need time when I am "absent" in a safe way so that they can start to solve problems for themselves and feel confident in their own abilities. I feel a lot less guilty if I'm including my kids in what I'm doing, but that time ends up being less creative for me, even though it is still an outlet.

Have you ever felt pressured to express creativity in exactly the same way as some other mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a blog)?  In what way?  Have you found any ways to get past these pressures?  How?
I have a lot of friends who are writers, who have blogs or use writing in other ways. That's not me, but because I work with ideas and using information in new ways and because I like to talk about my projects and what I'm learning, people often suggest that I start writing. When I'm focused I write very well and I have always written as part of my career, but it's not a fulfilling creative outlet for me.

I have a lot of creative skills that I don't necessarily feel are primary expressions of my own creativity and over time I've become a lot better at knowing the difference between the things I'm good at versus the things I'm gifted with. I'm a gifted musician: I connect with the music that I'm playing and can pass that connection on to those who are listening, and I find that connection to be an essential part of my skill as a musician. I'm a good writer, but I don't feel the same connection to the readers of my written words as I do to the listeners of my music, or the people who eat my food, or the clients that I work with.

I often feel pressure to produce more in my creative endeavors, because I see what five different people are doing and feel that I should be doing all five of those things. I have always had difficulty truly resting in the fact that I don't have to do everything myself. I love the imagery of the Church as a body because it's a reminder that I don't have to be good at everything, but also a reminder that I can do different things at different times. If I am a hand, I can pick something up, or play a tune, or comfort a child, but I can't do all those things at once. I can drive my self crazy trying, but at least I'm getting better at realizing that I'm judging myself too harshly.

I often feel pressure to produce more in my creative endeavors, because I see what five different people are doing and feel that I should be doing all five of those things.

Have you found any ways to use your creative skills with your kids?
My oldest daughter loves to cook with me and, no matter what I'm making, there's almost always a job that she can do. She is adventurous with her flavors, too. One day she asked for a grilled peanut butter, jelly, and pepper jack cheese sandwich. I thought it sounded crazy, but we made it anyway and it was delicious!

Both my kids like music. When I was first starting to get back into practicing, I would put my oldest in one of those jumpers that you hang from the doorway, and she would jump and dance while I played. We have a lot of instruments around the house, and we play them almost every day. We sing songs about everything, which is a great way to get kids to cooperate. Mary Poppins was right when she said that songs make chores a game.

I also love that music is a physical endeavor, because it gives me a way to talk to my girls about exercise and eating healthy and stewardship of our bodies that isn't about appearances or skinniness or fitting into some preconceived notion of beauty, but instead is a narrative about strength, and joy, and creating something beautiful.

I also love that music is a physical endeavor, because it gives me a way to talk to my girls about exercise and eating healthy and stewardship of our bodies that isn't about appearances or skinniness or fitting into some preconceived notion of beauty, but instead is a narrative about strength, and joy, and creating something beautiful.
Tell us what you love about the unique ways you express creativity. 
Because a lot of my creativity is based on thinking about things differently, anything can be a source of creative inspiration. I especially love using problems or difficult information as a source of inspiration; there is nothing as invigorating as coming into a meeting with people who think they have an insurmountable problem and finding a way for everyone to get what they need.
Music is a different type of love. It is the perfect marriage of something that challenges my mind and my heart. I love that I can sit down with a piece of music that I've never played and analyze the notes on the page and see beauty in that organization before I hear anything. I love that music can express every thought and feeling and prayer, often without any words. When I don't know what I need or want, when I feel adrift, I can pick up a book and find a song that has what I need, and I can know myself better in the process. It is the primary means by which God reveals myself to me, and by which I can be totally vulnerable with God and others.
 
What advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids, she has “lost herself”?
Start small. Find one thing that you can do in a short amount of time to get the ball rolling. For me, it was taking care of my nails again. As a pianist, I had to keep my nails trimmed, so the routine of filing my nails and putting lotion on my hands was a small way for me to begin reconnecting with that part of myself. Maybe you have a routine that you used to do when preparing to be creative - pick one part of that routine and start incorporating that into your life again.

Let go of the need to produce anything, at least for a while. If you only have ten minutes, do what you can in ten minutes, and then set it aside. Creativity is like a muscle that needs to be exercised and it might not work in exactly the same way once you have kids, so be gracious with yourself as you re-learn your own method of expressing yourself.

Emily lives in West Des Moines, Iowa, with her husband, two daughters (3 and 1), and cat. She's in the midst of a one year hiatus from working outside the home to help her family transition through a move from the rust belt to the Bible belt. She will know she was successful when there is art on the walls.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Just Because It's Beautiful (MamaTalk: Creativity)

Did you know that when God created the world, He created some things for no other reason than simply because they were beautiful?

This idea just hit me between the eyes recently as I studied Genesis 2:
And the LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground--trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food (verse 9, NIV).
We live in a world that seems increasingly driven towards the utilitarian, the profit-driven, the desire to have and consume.  And it's not that those elements of life don't have their place.  They do.  You can love art all you want, but you still gotta eat.

But when pursuit of profit and utilitarianism becomes the sole focus on life, I think something in the human soul dies.  Because that's not how God created us.  God created us to cultivate and enjoy beauty.  Beauty is very important to God.  So is variety.  Have you ever stopped to consider that God could have created all food to taste exactly the same?  It all could have tasted like gruel.  We could have had gray gruel trees.  It could have all had the same consistency.  But just stop and consider the multitudes of varieties of produce alone around the world.  There are fruits and vegetables in certain corners of the world that I have never even heard of!  And not only are there tons of varieties of food created for us to enjoy, but there are also infinite ways humans combine these ingredients.  There are endless new ideas for new texture and flavor.  And food doesn't fill the belly.  God made it to be delicious!

God is not a boring God.  He is not a utilitarian God.  Sometimes I think of Him this way, though.  Sometimes I think He just wants me to dot the i's and cross the t's.  Sometimes I think He wants me to just be a good girl and follow all the rules and that that is all there is to my relationship with Him.  But there is something soul-destroying about thinking of God that way, just as there would be if I thought of my husband that way.

The arts (all other arenas of creativity as well) are the doorway to seeing God as more than a utilitarian God.  They are the doorway to passion in life and passion in our relationship with God.  To see God's marvelous creation, so much of it created simply for the sake of beauty, lets us in on a secret: our God is a beautiful God, a splendid God, and the number one Fan of art and beauty and creativity.  When we are creative, when we harness our skills in our little corner of the universe, we fulfill our creative design.  We live out what it means to be created in the image of God.
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground" (Genesis 1:27-28, NIV).
To create beauty, meaning, life in our little corner of the world is to express the rulership to which God calls us. 

That's what MamaTalk: Creativity is all about.  My goal for this series is to see as moms how we can reflect the design of our Creator.  Are you in?

Join me on Twitter and share your #MamaTalkCreativity!

And by the way, if you're not a mama, I'd still like to hear from you!  Most of my readers are moms or at least women, but there are some creative fellows among them as well!

Monday, October 7, 2013

Writer, Crafter, Soapmaker: Dana Whitney (MamaTalk: Creativity)



Today marks the start of my series, MamaTalk: Creativity. In coming days, I will feature interviews with everyday moms who have found ways to cultivate creativity in the midst of the busyness of motherhood.  My first interview is with my friend, Dana Whitney.  She is hilarious, grounded, talented, and just darn good company. She's a Montana mom too and I think you're going to love her as much as I do. 

What are your primary outlets for creativity?  Tell us a little about your background and how you developed these creative skills.
I have always been pretty creative.  I wrote my first book when I was six, my mom taught me to crochet and sew when I was very young.  I also used to really enjoy drawing.  I could actually draw better when I was a kid than I can now, because I used to work at it.  The main ways I still create are through writing, cooking and doing art or craft projects with my kids.  I also think learning is a form of creativity, because it allows you to create new knowledge and skills.  I got some books and taught myself how to make soap a couple years ago, and I learned how to knit last winter.  I think my mom has always been a big influence on my creativity.  Crafts were encouraged when I was growing up, and I’ve always enjoyed making things. 

Do you think creativity is important as a mom?  Why or why not?
I think creativity is important as a person, whatever stage of life you are in.  Creativity in its many forms is the spice of life; it adds interest and excitement to whatever it is we do.

What is a time in your life when you felt most fulfilled creatively?

I guess most of the time I have felt fulfilled creatively.  The easier question is about when I didn’t feel fulfilled.  I had a job I didn’t particularly like for a while.  Having that job made me search out more creative outlets, but I felt frustrated, because I was trying to find a way to turn one of my hobbies into a different job, and none of the hobbies I had at the time were things I could turn into full time employment.   

How did time or energy for creativity change after you became a mom?
When my first child was born, I went from a full-time employee to a full-time mom over the course of a weekend, and, while I thought I was prepared to take care of a baby, I wasn’t prepared to take care of my creative self.  Having a child requires constant vigilance.  When they cry, you can’t say, “Hold on, I’ll be there in an hour.” And as they get older and start walking, it only gets tougher.  I didn’t realize how mentally tiring it is to be on alert 24 hours a day.  While I was working, I had less time for hobbies and creativity.  But, as long as I had a job I liked, I was fine with that.  Cooking something new for dinner,baking, sewing, or crocheting once in a while was enough.  Once I was home all the time, with very little human interaction for a big part of the day, I needed more, but some of my creative pursuits required more focus than I thought I could give them.  Turns out I just needed to manage my time better, but I didn’t realize that back then.

Do you ever feel guilty about making time for creativity?  How do you cope with that?
I don’t usually feel too guilty.  I do a lot of my creative activities after the kids are in bed, or while they are busy with other things.  Sometimes I feel guilty about spending time away, like going to a two day writing conference, but I know I’m a better, more relaxed parent when I have that creative outlet.  I also think it’s good for the kids to seem me as something other than the hired help.  It’s good for kids to know that parents have a life and interests outside of them.  It’s too much pressure on a kid to be to sole focus of the parent’s life.

I know I’m a better, more relaxed parent when I have that creative outlet.  It’s too much pressure on a kid to be to sole focus of the parent’s life.

Have you ever felt pressured to express creativity in exactly the same way as some other mom (maybe a friend or a mom on Pinterest or a blog)?  In what way?  Have you found any ways to get past these pressures?  How?
I guess the closest I’ve come to feeling pressure is expecting my house to be as clean as my mom’s after I got married.  I remember being very upset about my messy house and asking my mom how she got Dad to help so much. She laughed and told me it took about 25 years of training.  Mostly I find inspiration in the creativity of others, but I don’t try to copy it.  Everyone has their own specific skills and interests and the way those skills and interests intersect will be different for everyone.  Whenever I have tried to copy someone else’s creativity it usually does not end well.  I’m happier with the result if I put my own spin on it.

Have you found any ways to use your creative skills with your kids?
I do craft projects with my kids: everything from coloring pages to simple sewing projects to writing.  My 9 year old is writing a book. While he doesn’t want me to help write it, I do help with some of the typing.  I’ve also written magazine articles about kid projects, so my kids get to try out the projects first.  I’ve learned to try to let them take the lead.  Most of the time, if I come up with a really great project, explain it and try to get them to do it, they are not interested.  If I just start something I enjoy, frequently they’ll come over and ask questions and start their own version, which will be entirely different from mine (and that's a good thing!).

Tell us what you love about the unique ways you express creativity. 
I love that they are mine.  While I knit the same way anyone else would, the patterns and colors I choose make the project mine.  I use the same 26 letters in my writing, but the way I put them together is mine.  

I use the same 26 letters in my writing, but the way I put them together is mine.  

What advice would you give to a mom who feels that since having kids, she has “lost herself”?
You’re the one who lost herself, you’re the one who has to find herself, and no one can do it for you.  Having kids is your life now.  Don’t try to find yourself away from your family.  It’s tempting to search for time away and carve out time for yourself without your family around, and sometimes that is important.  But, remember, your family is part of who you are too.  Remember to enjoy them, even (or maybe especially) when you don’t want to.  Look for the joy in the everyday moments with your family, because joy gets bigger when it is shared.

Dana Whitney writes in Northwest Montana where she lives with her handsome husband, two above average children, and one below average dog.  Her hobbies include gardening, canning, knitting, soap making, beekeeping and pretty much anything that helps her avoid doing laundry.  You can follow her blog at: http://triflesandtruffles.wordpress.com/
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